In honor of National and World Scleroderma Awareness day, I have decided to push through and write another blog post. Despite my pain, discomfort and fatigue, I am still Blessed. I am breathing on my own, able to eat on my own and I can still walk. That is way more than I was able to do the last few summers. Just when I thought I was getting better and stronger things changed. It's tempting to try to pinpoint when I started this descend back into the valley. I'm tip-toe again in the deep waters and the storm clouds are brewing. Each flare up is my battle, my cross to bear. Unlike the last 2 times, I know what I have, who I am and why I am still left here in this world.
I had a lot of ideas and plans this June for Scleroderma Awareness month as well as my Birthday, being it is also in June. The irony is having all these ideas and plans not working out because of the subject which is me growing older in this disease. That and me forgetting who I am, what I have and why I just can't "go home". God has a plan for me but I need to get on board by trusting in Him. I need to remember my armor always not just on the days of battle. If I don't I am left vulnerable to attack and eventually all of the small attacks avalanche.
I must remember that I can always count on JESUS, Jehovah Jireh! He is my provider in ALL things! No longer will I let anxiety and depression suffocate me. Even as I feel each muscle, tendon, ligament tightened to a point where my skin itches and burns with pain I will keep marching. I must let my suffering be in silence because I have been here before. I no longer want to discourage my dream team. I'm here still for and because of them. Yet I will keep sharing my journey through this darkness so that my other warriors know they are not alone! My Emmanuel will never leave us. Faith is the certainty of a God above all uncertainties.
No matter what happens to my body I will trust my Heavenly Father and serve Him until my last breath. Scleroderma may take me out of this world but JESUS is walking me home...
HAPPY WORLD SCLERODERMA DAY!
https://open.spotify.com/track/68jDcAoxBfn7Tu9SUt38d9?si=uez1cSy1SxixA8vbLhNPgg
https://open.spotify.com/track/33AwnZl99mjxjNjMIbflbH?si=0tUD9kHFRKauPnFMmqIONw
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